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Vex King is a million-copy bestselling author and mind coach. He is the author of two #1 Sunday Times #1 bestsellers: ‘Good Vibes, Good Life’, which has been translated into 39 languages, and ‘Healing is the New High’. His third book, ‘Closer to Love’, debuted at #2 on the Sunday Times list.

Vex is a mind coach who came to fame on Instagram and is now much in demand as a writer and speaker. He had a difficult childhood but did well at school, then went on to take a degree in Business Information Systems.

After working as a Systems Analyst, he moved into music production where he worked with stars including Tinie Tempah, Wretch 32 and Big Narstie. His work brought him into contact with people who started asking him for life advice, including major sporting stars, and he gradually built up a life coaching / mind coaching business. On the back of this, he went online to share his ideas with the world and was astonished by the response. He is now leading a revolution for the next generation of spiritual seekers.

As a major voice in the world of personal development, Vex shares deep spiritual knowledge in a way that's easy to understand, with stories from his own life, great inspirational quotes and practical solutions.

Read Vex’s reflections from his Virtual Wellbeing Festival session

Taking care of staff

CARE Model:

Communication : Create open lines of communication for feedback, concerns, and ideas.

Achievement : Show ways in which people can achieve a work-life balance. Prioritize and support a healthy balance between work responsibilities and personal life.

Resources: Offer resources and services that prioritize mental well-being and destigmatize mental health conversations.

Environment: Create an environment that encourages self-care. Whether it’s a silent room for rest or self-care and wellness activities that people can easily join.

Encouraging people to speak about mental health

Normalize open discussions about mental health , self-care practices, and the challenges of balancing personal well-being with caregiving responsibilities. By normalizing these conversations, colleagues will feel more comfortable expressing their needs and seeking support.

Have seniors lead by example: As a leader, demonstrate self-care practices and openly discuss your own experiences with self-compassion. When others see you prioritize your well-being, it gives them permission to do the same. Modelling self-love and sharing personal stories can create a safe space for colleagues to open up about their own mental health.

Offer resources such as mental health awareness training , workshops on self-care techniques, or access to counselling services. Ensure that colleagues are aware of the available support systems and encourage them to utilize these resources when needed. This demonstrates that their mental health and well-being are valued and supported within the workplace.

Implement self-care strategies collectively: Encourage colleagues to practice self-care together as a team. This can include activities such as group mindfulness exercises, team-building activities focused on well-being, or designated breaks for relaxation. By incorporating self-care practices into the work routine, colleagues can collectively prioritize their mental health while still fulfilling their caregiving responsibilities. It will also show individuals different ways in which they can take care of themselves.

Dealing with stress, anxiety and burnout

RED: Relationship, Emptiness, Drain

Relationship

Especially where burnout is concerned, think of yourself as a professional athlete pushing through a very difficult season. Anxiety and stress could represent minor injuries or a lack of fitness. Without adequate care and rest, things will not only become far worse, such as a harsher injury, but end your career completely. By not healing, we only prolong the hurt.

Burnout is your mind and body saying rest, but many people push through the anxiety and stress and end up worse because they don’t know how to rest.

They’re the people who epitomise human-doingness instead of human-beingness. 

So how do we learn to rest? Well, we need to know what our relationship with rest looks like.

Often there’s some form of perfectionism, trauma or unhealthy conditioning that is driving the relentless behaviour leading to burnout.

It might be that as a child you only got praise and love if you achieved something.

You were told that rest was only for lazy people.

You developed people-pleasing tendencies as a result of fighting for love and attention.

Or you never saw the authority figures in your life taking time out.

Some people are able to do some adequate reflecting and figure it out, plus take initiative and implement more periods of rest.

Nevertheless, I highly recommend seeing a professional counsellor or therapist to understand your relationship with rest and how it can be strengthened.

Emptiness

In our fast-paced and information-saturated world, it is crucial to consciously make time for moments of non-thinking and schedule periods of emptiness in our daily lives. By creating space in our minds, we allow ourselves to detach from the constant stream of thoughts, worries, and external stimuli that can overwhelm us.

When we engage in non-thinking, we give our minds a chance to rest and rejuvenate. This practice can take various forms, such as meditation, mindfulness, deep breathing exercises, or simply finding a quiet spot to relax without any specific agenda. During these moments, we consciously let go of the mental clutter, allowing our minds to settle into a state of calm and stillness. As your mind begins calm, the breath follows suit. Suddenly, the anxiety dissipates. 

Regularly making time for emptiness is essential for maintaining mental well-being. It prevents our minds from becoming densely populated and chaotic, which can lead to increased stress levels. Embracing moments of emptiness helps us find balance, clarity, and a sense of inner peace.

Drain

Do some self-reflection and find out what’s draining you isn’t. In other words, what gives you energy and what doesn’t?

Analyse your relationships, your habits, your environment, your hobbies, etc.

Do more of the things that help you feel nourished and cut back or distance yourself from the things that don’t.

If it’s a working relationship which is draining you, perhaps there needs to be more communication, a boundary in place, reinforcement or even a third party to step in.

Building better relationships in the workplace

Empathy

My latest book, Closer to Love, speaks mainly of romantic love. Nevertheless, the essentials of relationship building remain the same.

One of the key messages in my book is that to get closer to another person, you must remain close to yourself. When you know yourself well, you can respond to the needs of others with more compassion and understanding.

This requires something called emotional intelligence – which is simply our ability to understand and manage our own emotions and effectively recognize and respond to the emotions of others.

Why is this important? Well, most people just want to be seen and understood. When they feel like they have, they feel closer to that person. It’s like someone gets them.

A good way we can show people we understand them is by empathizing with them. Empathy is a feeling of awareness toward other people's emotions and an attempt to understand how they feel. We can only do this if we have emotional intelligence, and we can only develop emotional intelligence if we have self-awareness. The simplest way of enhancing self-awareness is by recording your thoughts and feelings on paper – like in a journal.

Communication

Effective communication is the foundation of any relationship. Be an active listener, express your thoughts and ideas clearly, and encourage others to share their perspectives.

Regularly check in with your colleagues to ensure everyone is on the same page.

This is especially important during conflict. How we disagree can make or break a relationship. In fact, a marital expert called Dr. John Gottman describes negative communication styles that can be detrimental to relationships, and even predict divorce with great accuracy (criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling). So, although it’s important to talk to each other, bad communication essentially puts your relationship on the ropes.

Be respectful, be willing to listen and exercise understanding, seek common ground, find solutions that are mutually beneficial, apologise if need be, take responsibility, and then be accountable. 

Sometimes it’s hard to communicate when you’re emotionally triggered, so let those emotions diffuse otherwise you’re likely to go head-to-head.  

And avoid gossiping, especially when experiencing conflict! I know that sounds like a given, but so many people turn to others and bad-mouth their colleagues, which only creates a bigger problem. Talk to the person involved instead, as if it were the other way round, I’m sure you wouldn’t want to be the subject of gossip.

Appreciation

Show appreciation and respect: Recognize and acknowledge the contributions of your colleagues. Offer genuine compliments, express gratitude for their efforts, and show respect for their opinions and expertise. Building a culture of appreciation and respect enhances team dynamics. Everyone wants to be validated to some degree, so why not make that small gesture?

Teamwork

They say teamwork makes the dream work, so actively seek opportunities to work with your colleagues. This could be as simple as sharing your knowledge, skills, and resources willingly, and also being open to learning from others.

Teamwork doesn’t have to be work-led. Those in a leadership role especially can encourage team-building activities or initiatives that promote collaboration and rapport. These activities can range from team outings or social events to workshops or problem-solving exercises. Where there is discomfort there is often vulnerability and humour, which will only strengthen a relationship and create a sense of unity.

Positive environment

Create a positive and inclusive atmosphere by being supportive, approachable, pleasant, and considerate.

Offer assistance to colleagues when needed, celebrate successes together, and foster a sense of friendship.

Schedule time for connecting with colleagues. It can be as simple as popping over to a colleague’s desk, offering to make a coffee, or spending lunch together away from the desk.

Be inviting and demonstrate that you want to connect.